Preview of OK Danny Boy (Monster) vol. 2 by Felicia Johnson

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After a couple of days, I got used to the routine at Bent Creek. Wake up, check vital signs, chat for a bit with your group and group leader while waiting for breakfast, take my insulin, breakfast, morning goals group with a mix of different counselors along the doctor leading the goals group, my doctor, Dr. Finch.

Dapper and chill as always, Dr. Finch sat with me in the room after morning goals group. It was easy to talk with him. I mostly stayed on the surface of things with him because when it was time to go deep, I felt like I couldn’t do it. I felt like if I did go down that dark path of what had actually happened and how I truly felt about it all, I would lose the comfort zone I was in and in turn I’d lose my ability to want to talk to Dr. Finch or even be in Bent Creek Hospital. What else was I going to do if I didn’t stay here? Go back to my home where Mom and Pop fight and make me feel crazy? Sit and watch reality fake tv with Mom-Mom and we take our insulin together and stay silent about the other medications that I need to function, too. There was no way in hell I was going back that church so that the scary priest man could squeeze my head and the bronze statue of the man with arms wide open would stare at me and watch and let them do those things to me.

“I want to talk about home, Daniel.” Dr. Finch said. “What is home life like for you?”

I put my feet up in the chair and rested my chin on top of my knees. It made it easier to untie and re-tie my shoe laces in that position. I don’t know where or how I picked up this nerve picking habit to mess around with my shoe laces. It seemed to have started at the beginning of that school year after I was shortly put on academic probation.

“Home,” I said. “Home. Home. Home.” I almost began to sing it as I belted the word out once more.

Dr. Finch blinked and waited.

“It’s okay. Mom-Mom is great. She is weird like me but different because she is into church stuff. I don’t judge her or anything. I just wish that she wouldn’t judge me. Pop, well, Pop is just Pop. I mean,” I chuckled. “He is in and out. He doesn’t have a job yet. Mom is working around the clock and she leaves it to me to take Mom-Mom to the doctors. Which, really, I don’t know what’s going on there because Mom-Mom has been going to the doctor’s office a lot lately and it worries me. It could be because of Diabetes. But she says that she is okay. You see, me, my Pop and Mom-Mom all have Diabetes. We got it when we were kids. I shouldn’t have kids because they’ll probably have it too. Plus, Theresa would hate that. She wouldn’t want to…”

Dr. Finch’s expression changed. He furrowed his eyebrows and cocked his head to the side. He looked thoroughly confused, yet concerned.

“Go on,” he encouraged me to speak more.

I shrugged my shoulders and leaned back in my chair. I said, “I worry about my mother.”

“Tell me more about that, Daniel. Tell me about what worries you.”

Dr. Finch was the first doctor that I ever had that wanted me to talk about it. Still, I felt uncomfortable as I sat in the chair across from him. I picked at my shoelaces and kept my head down. I desperately wanted to smoke. It was out of question to even ask for cigarettes.

Dr. Finch waited for me to answer him, but I had no idea where to start. It was frustrating, trying to find the right words to explain the hows and whys of everything when most of the shit didn’t make enough sense to try to explain.

“It’s okay,” Dr. Finch said. “I’ll ask you in another way. Why did you ask to come to Bent Creek? You could have went home after you were released from Egleston Hospital.”

“I guess…” I said with a heavy sigh, “I guess it was because I had no other place to go.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean that I couldn’t go back home after everything that had happened. It was hard for them.”

“It was hard for whom?”

“Mom-Mom, my Mom and my Pop and Theresa…”

“What about you?”

“What about me?”

“Since you’ve been here, you have only talked about everyone else’s problems, but what about you?”

“I don’t know,” I admitted.

Dr. Finch didn’t look like he was buying it. He shook his head and gestured his hands out to me as he spoke, as if he was pleading with me.

“Look, Daniel,” Dr. Finch said. “I know that it’s not easy. Especially when you have been through all that you’ve gone through in the last week or so. The emotional stress on top of your physical stress from the complications you suffered with Diabetes, it’s-“

I don’t know what came over me. I put up my hand to stop Dr. Finch from speaking and I cut him off.

I said, “Having diabetes isn’t the real challenge. Sure, I have to stick myself with a needle about two times a day. I have complications if I don’t watch what I eat and take care of myself physically. Like, I can’t eat what everyone else eats like candy bars and birthday cake. I can live with that. I always have lived with it. It’s the Bi-Polar Disorder that messes me up. One minute I’m fine and as soon as something happens that makes me angry, I loose it. It’s like when I last saw Theresa talking to Ryan, I just wanted to kill him.” I paused and looked out of the window. Still picking with my shoelaces, I tried to calm down. It felt like my emotions wanted to get the best of me. I didn’t want to cry. I couldn’t cry!

Dr. Finch remained calm and quiet. He watched me and listened to me intently. It was a strange feeling to have someone listen and care the way that Dr. Finch seemed to care about what I had been through.

I continued, “I don’t understand Bi-Polar like I understand Diabetes. Diabetes is simple. It’s genetic. My grandmother has it and my father has it. Maybe Bi-polar is genetic too?” I paused. When Dr. Finch didn’t respond I said with a shrug, “I don’t know.”

Dr. Finch nodded his head and remained silent. I kind of expected him to tell me if it was true or not. I wondered if it was genetic. I expected him to hit me with some popular statistic or something. I looked at him and something about his concerned expression made me chuckle. He made me a bit anxious. The next few words out of my mouth seemed to spill out without thought.

“When I was a kid, I watched my father beat a man into a coma. I didn’t do anything to help the man. I just stood there and watched as my father beat the man’s face into a bloody pile of meat with his bare hands. I didn’t cry. I didn’t scream. I didn’t react at all. I even had a bad dog bite from the guy’s German Shepard. I still didn’t show any emotions. My dad just spent the last few years in prison for hurting that man. After serving seven years, he came home last week. We never talk about it. My mom tried to talk to me about it one time, but I didn’t know what to say. Mom concluded that I was in shock and she didn’t press me anymore about it.”

Dr. Finch’s eyebrows raised up. He opened his mouth as if he was about to say something, but I didn’t let him speak. I started to laugh and he shut his mouth. He looked at me questionably and asked, “What’s funny about that, Daniel?”

I continued to laugh as I said, “It’s funny to me because now it makes sense.”

“What makes sense?” Dr. Finch asked.

I answered, “I guess that I’ve been in shock for the past seven years.”

Coming Soon!

http://www.feliciajohnsonauthor.com

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“OK Danny Boy” Presale, “HER” by Felicia Johnson and Special Edition Bookmarks #bookswag

Now you can purchase your own autographed/signed books.

Get “HER” by Felicia Johnson paperback book, autographed with a personal note from the author to the reader. Included is a Mr. Sharp and “HER” bookmark.

If you’re interested in getting the bookmarks ONLY please see instructions below.

Starting today, you can purchase a presale, special edition of “OK Danny Boy” by Felicia Johnson. The book releases in April 2017. This special edition includes an autographed/signed copy of the book with a personal note to the reader in paperback and an “OK Danny Boy” limited edition bookmark.

“HER” by Felicia Johnson Autographed Book with personal note to reader: click below to purchase.
https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_s-xclick&hosted_button_id=GLLU6RZACQRJN

“HER” by Felicia Johnson paperback book, autographed with a personal note from the author to the reader. Included is a Mr. Sharp and “HER” bookmark. Click below to purchase.
https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_s-xclick&hosted_button_id=QGLM7E5NXN8XL

Mr. Sharp and “HER” by Felicia Johnson (bookmarks only): click below to purchase.
https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_s-xclick&hosted_button_id=MKL3XNBHY53YU

“OK Danny Boy” by Felicia Johnson Presale Autographed/Signed book and special edition “OK Danny Boy” bookmark.
Special note: Special Edition bookmarks will be mailed out at the time of purchase. The presale book will mail out on the release date in April 2017.
click below to purchase.
https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_s-xclick&hosted_button_id=RZW4SKPF3GSB2

National Alliance On Mental Illness NAMI Gwinnett Presents Educational Speaker Felicia Johnson

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Ghostwriting is YOU talking and me writing. YOUR voice = your story.

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What is a ghost writer?

How can a ghost writer help you write your story? If a ghost writer does help you write your story, will it still be your story?

What is the difference between a biographer and a ghost writer?

These are very good questions to ask when you have a story to tell, but feel like you may need someone to help you write.

A biographer is someone who will actually write the story for you. They may write the story in their own voice, and it may be more about facts and less about personal storytelling, but more like a story about you rather than a story that is coming from. You may not do any writing at all if you let the biography do it all for you. The biographer may interview you as part of the research, but they’re doing the integral part of writing and just telling your story for you. A biographer will write the story in whole for you, but not necessarily as you.

As a ghostwriter, I’m here to help you write your own story. I help you find your voice and shape content for your story to structure it out one chapter at a time. It will be in your voice because YOU are the author. I’ll structure and write out the details and points that we discuss for your story. However, it is you who decides the characters, people, places, things, memories, emotions, humor, drama, points in life that are relevant to the content of your story.  You decide what is to be included in your book. Any additional information, omissions and changes are entirely up to you.

We will write up drafts for your chapters and I will send it to you for review. It is good when you read the drafts and ideas related to your story because the more that we write the words will start to flow. If you keep a journal of your experiences or record your thoughts, it makes it easier to write them out into a structured outline. We can use those memories to write out your story in your voice. You may want to talk about something in your book and once it’s written and you read it you may decide that you don’t want it in your story, that is fine. This is part of the writing process. It’s great when you want to add more to the voice of the story and you want to make changes in your book because that means your creative juices are flowing! That’s the point of me helping you with ghostwriting.

Overall, my job is to help you get your ideas flowing so that together, we can write the story out of your system and put it down onto paper. Right now, I’m only doing ghostwriting. I’m not a biographer. However, I do know a couple of great biographers who are wonderful storytellers. I can provide recommendations if you’re looking for a biographer.

Contact me if you need help with writing your story. Visit http://feliciajohnsonauthor.com/services/ghostwriting/. Email me at herthebook@gmail.com.

Book Review of The Novel Vein Fire by Lucia Adams

fireveinIt’s okay to say no sometimes, Hannah.

Sometimes you go through things in life and it’s a little more than you can emotionally handle. That’s the truth about life and it’s written in this book. Hannah is a broken and scared woman. She was once a girl who, like most of us, experimented and learned from the lessons that came from the things that we tried out while growing up.

This is more than just a coming of age story about a girl who struggles with dealing with trauma, chronic pain, mental illness and drug abuse. This is a story that may disturb you, shake you, break you, trigger you and make you feel all mixed up inside. However, you may just feel something. And if that is what you want, then this is it. 3.5 stars for Hannah.

– Review written by Felicia Johnson, Author of “HER”.

Mental Health Talk: Guest Blog Post Author Felicia Johnson

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Felicia Johnson guest blogs on Mental Health Talk and shares how she suffered from depression and child abuse while growing up. It was writing that helped her through those years; a catalyst for finding an invaluable form of therapy and her voice.

This has lead Felicia to write her first novel titled Her. Based on her own experiences and those with a close friend who she lost to mental illness, she has created a story about survival and the complexity of living with Borderline Personality Disorder.

To read Felicia’s guest post on Mental Health Talk, please visit: http://mentalhealthtalk.info/writing-mental-illness

Trish Hurtubise, Founder and Editor of Mental Health Talk

FREE EBOOK ABOUT Borderline Personality Disorder and Mental Illness TODAY only!

FREE EBOOK ABOUT #BPD via Amazon. Free on TODAY only!

black and white her

A story about a girl who struggles with #BPD. It takes the reader into the mind of someone who is suffering from Borderline Personality Disorder. Recommended for families, friends and loved ones of those who have BPD and who wish to learn more about this complex personality disorder. For ages 16 and up.

Watch book trailers at www.herthebook.com

In other ways, Kristen is not like other kids her age. She knows something is wrong with her. Kristen feels like an utter failure. She is unable to please her abrasive mother, and scared to confront Jack, her abusive stepfather. She is also unable to protect Nick from Jack, making her fell all the more helpless. Adding to her problems, she knows she will never be as beautiful as her best friend Lexus. Kristen finds solace in self-injury, and the company of Mr. Sharp, her imaginary friend who encourages her feelings of self-loathing.

After a failed suicide attempt, Kristen is placed in the Bent Creek mental hospital, where she is diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder. While in the hospital, she meets a group of peers suffering with their own mental illnesses, and a compassionate staff of doctors and counselors. From there, Kristen begins her journey to survival. She discovers the circumstances that brought her to this breaking point, struggles to understand her mental illness, and fights to be a survivor against her own worst enemy: her self-blame.
Kristen’s tale of endurance illustrates the complex illness of Borderline Personality Disorder. Readers – including those suffering from BPD and their friends and family – can glean insight into the illness from Kristen’s humanity. Her story is an example of how, if we try to push the past away, we are either doomed to repeat it or let it haunt us to our graves.

#USA :http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00D64V0F6
#Canada: http://www.amazon.ca/gp/product/B00D64V0F6
#UK: http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B00D64V0F6
#Australia: http://www.amazon.com.au/gp/product/B00D64V0F6

#borderlinepersonalitydisorder #teens #BPD #mentalillness #mentalhealth#hospitalization #childabuse #sexualabuse #survivors

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